Chapter 2 / The Dynamics of Hurrying: Parents

This is Veronica, the author of our first entry on chapter 2. This is what she said about the picture:

"My older sister and I appear in the picture. I am the one with pink
sunglasses (the one on the right). We are not twins, but are very close
in age. She is about a year and 7 months older than I. Growing up, people would always ask us if we were twins…I guess mother was to blame for always dressing us alike."

Of course, now Veronica is a grown-up college student, and I think you'll enjoy her reflections on chapter 2. And just so you know...she turned this in FOUR days before it was due! Wow! It's only being posted now simply because I was too busy to get it posted -- my bad!

Veronica wrote:
One of the ideas that Elkind mentioned in chapter two that caught my attention is that adults and society in general, help mold children; we shape their lives day by day. This idea caught my attention because it portrays children as easily shapeable, powerless individuals giving us adults the power to affect their future in whichever way we basically want. It says that we are superior to them and they are inferior to us. Knowing that we have all this power over them should encourage us to raise happy productive citizens, but the reality is that we are not. With all the pressures to grow up quickly that we assign them, we are raising unhappy individuals that, as mentioned in the previous chapter, are thinking about suicides, drugs, drinking, etc. as a way to retaliate or cope with their everyday stressors. I don’t think that we are doing them any good by setting such high expectations and pressures to grow up quickly.

I agree with his idea that adults always expect children to adjust to their schedules. We as adults can get caught up into our daily routines, and because of our stress, forget that they too have their own things going on. Children encounter new situations everyday that cause stress in their lives, and we simply put them off because our stressors seem more important to us than theirs. I had never before thought of it this way, but it makes perfect sense now. We as adults are egocentric and just think about getting our needs met, and we simply expect them to contribute to our needs rather than us contributing to theirs. The hurried children of today are our future. How can we expect them to be less of what we are now if that is all they see from us today?

Another point that Elkind made was that parents start their children early in sports to help them become more successful later in life, and to carry on “their parents’ frustrated competitiveness in the workplace” (Page 29). I’m not too sure I agree with the idea of making your child join a sport at such an early age. If it is not inside the child to be an active sports-person, then it won’t make much of a difference at what age their parents enroll them in sports. I feel this way because a child like myself, who does not like being active or in sports, will not necessarily benefit from being enrolled in sports at any particular age. It must be very frustrating not to be heard if you are a child who is in a sport simply because your parents want you to be there. I agree with Elkind that placing your children in sports will help them acquire important social skills by meeting new children and interacting with them; they will learn to cooperate and to be competitive. But I don’t see how that would motivate them into liking the sport if it really is not their thing. This reminds me of how my older sister always wanted me to follow within her footsteps and join every single sport that she did. I felt very pressured to do so not only by her but also by my parents who wanted me to join. I did end up going to practice for a couple of those sports, but I always ended up withdrawing when I was there and quitting because it simply was not my thing. Being pressured to be there created insecurities in me rather than fostering my “self-esteem and feelings of competence” (Page 31). I wanted to be the simple, passive child that I was, not the active, outgoing, and sporty child that my sister has always been. I was fortunate enough that my parents were never too pushy and never really forced me to stay, but I can sympathize with the children that perhaps are not as fortunate as I am and are pressured to join a sport. I am not saying that joining a sport at an early age is a bad thing, not at all. On the contrary, if your child seems to really enjoy it by all means support them. Parents should stop buying into the pressures of society. They should realize that the one size fits all model is not always applicable when dealing with children.They all have their own unique personalities that should be taken into consideration when making important decisions that will inevitably impact their lives.

I really liked the idea of organizing play groups as an alternative for parents so that their kids can be safe ,use their imaginations, and have a great time as they play. Kids have a huge imagination and just about any simple prop will do to get them started. This can be very engaging and fun not only for them but also for adults. I have done this in the past with my seven-year-old brother, and it is so much fun! I truly believe that giving him the opportunity to create enhances his creativity and also increases his self-esteem. At the end of the day, experiences such as these are priceless because they allow for wonderful bonding opportunities.

I also agree that children today are being pressured to learn to read very quickly. I remember when my little brother was learning to read, and he had to keep up with the pace of the class. Sometimes he seemed very frustrated. I honestly felt bad for him. There is also pressure to learn to write, to learn to do math quickly, etc. My little brother is currently in first grade and he is already learning to multiply! I see him stressed out many times. I remember I had to learn to multiply around fourth grade. I find it too overwhelming for kids now-a-days. No wonder they sometimes wake up not wanting to go to school.