You might remember that the author of our latest blog entry, Tianna Baines, had her first child, Kazidy, right after the semester started. Though I'm sure she's exhausted, she has hung in this semester like a trooper, and I think you'll enjoy this new mom's thoughts about chapter 8.
She wrote:
As a new parent, this entire book has been interesting to me. In this chapter, Elkind discusses how hurrying children is a form of stress and how it affects them. He focused on three different areas that cause children to stress. He began with responsibility, change, and emotional overloads caused by parents. When parents have very busy lifestyles, they tend to have little time to give sufficient attention to their children. They either require the oldest child to help around the house, doing more chores and taking care of younger siblings, or there are various other caregivers who take their place. Elkind states that these things cause children to become stressed because they now have adult responsibilities, and it is a lot for them to deal with. I can relate to this because I am the oldest of three. There were times when I had to help my siblings prepare for school in the morning, and also babysit after school because my mom (being a single parent) had to be at work. Back then I didn’t realize that these extra responsibilities were the cause of my not being able to play as much or be outside as long. Now I’ll know what to avoid with my own daughter so that she’ll enjoy her childhood.
Next Elkind discusses the stress that school places on children,not only because of grades and high honors, but now because of the violence. Today school violence goes way beyond the classic bullying, with children having access to guns but no guidance. While reading this section I wondered how parents can assure their children that school is a safe place so that they’ll be excited about school and learning. More importantly, I wondered how teachers can better read the signals of students under so much stress that they turn to such violence.
Another stressor in schools is the monotonous and rushed structure of the classroom. We’ve discussed many times how rote memorization does not help children. I believe that teachers who disagree with this process of teaching, used simply for standardized tests, should protest it so that better teaching styles can be implemented. This fast paced, tedious style introduces children to early burn out before they reach college and try to pursue a career.
Lastly is stress the media causes. Elkind states that it presents children with too much information that they are not capable of understanding, causing an overload. In this state of overload, children work more and play less, which leaves no opportunity for stress relief. I feel that children in today’s society watch too much TV anyway, whether it’s age appropriate or not. Parents shouldn’t use television as a babysitter. They should become more involved in their children’s lives and plan more social and physical activities. I remember when I was young, my mom didn’t allow us to watch certain programs because she felt they were too violent even though they were kid programs. I always thought she was being unfair, but this was her way of protecting us from additional stressors for which my siblings and I weren’t emotionally ready. The simplest rules from parents are beneficial to children in many ways, and allowing children to be themselves and grow at their own pace makes healthier children.
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Tianna,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your summary and insights to chapter 8. It was interesting to read how you felt hurried because you were the oldest child of 3. It was especially interesting to hear how you felt the adult grown up pressures of taking care of your younger siblings, but you didn’t realize it was robbing you of your own free time to be a child. I am the baby of my nuclear family and instead of having those adult pressures as a child, I was never taken seriously, because I was the baby.
I’d liketo make a quick comment on the school stressors as well. Something I believe very strongly in is that more recess and play time should be allowed! I also agree with the idea of a protest against the current methods of education. If we, as teachers, could stand together and make that change for the children, that would be history in the making, and I would love to see it happen! We are recreating and improving the education system one step at a time.
On another note, I salute you for doing great and hanging in there while raising a newborn!
Wishing you the best of luck,
Brittany Slaven
Tianna,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Parents do need to help their kids realize that school is a good place to be and to not be afraid of it. I teach preschool and I have one student who does not like school. He just started recently coming in every morning crying and telling me he hates school. It is so hard to hear as a teacher, and I know his parents are having a hard time with it too. I do not know why he is so upset about coming but I know that it is hard on all of us; teachers, parents, and the other students. We don’t like seeing him sad and upset about coming to school. His parents and I are both constantly mentioning how fun school is and all the fun things he gets to learn and once we do, he calms down. I think these days, children are pressured so much (even in preschool) to do well and it scares them. I wish there were something we could do to change that!
Shannon Nash
Tianna,
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned that you had a lot of pressure being the oldest of three, and that you missed out on some childhood of your own. This is a fear I have as a parent. I already have asked my two year old to help me with her brother by bringing me diapers and checking on him when he naps. I realize these are little things but I don’t want to get to comfortable asking her to help because I would never want to cause her stress and rob her of childhood time. I hope I can recognize my children’s stress so that I can regulate it, and insure my children are not negatively affected by the stresses of school, media and daily life. I hope parenthood is going great!
Bobie Walker
Tianna,
ReplyDeleteI understand how some of the issues Elkind brings up in this chapter are somewhat disturbing. The fact that children are stressing so much about things that they should feel carefree about causes me to be concerned. I was the youngest in my family and to me it didn’t seem that my older sister had to take the role of a parent or adult; I never experienced that first hand. My roommate was not as lucky as I was and was forced to grow up quickly for her younger siblings. This is the case in a lot of families today:Children are being forced to grow up too fast because they don’t have someone to support them as a parent would. Children also look at their peers around them, so if parents are pushing their children to be ahead in school and in athletics, not only are they affecting their own children, but also children around them. Children see their peers are succeeding and often feel badly about themselves. Some parents may see this as a negative thing because their own children are not succeeding the way others are. All children are different, and therefore, I believe they should grow at their own pace.
Kristen Bergmann
Tianna,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post because of the way you addressed the different stressors that children must deal with these days. I agree with everything you said, especially with how you described the influence of media on a child. There are many programs that portray very violent and scary things, and this can be hard for a child to take in. My ten-year-old sister is very good about watching age appropriate shows; however, there will be times when she watches a show that is too much for her to handle. She’ll talk about it for weeks because she didn’t understand it or it scared her. My sister is already overloaded with stress from trying to keep up with the challenges of school, so it’s bad enough she sees something on television she shouldn’t. It’s difficult for parents to monitor the television and parents can’t be in the classroom monitoring their kids with stress from school. We live in a time where there’s an enormous amount of technology and society lives on the notion of rushing to get things done. Stress is inevitable in these times, so then it is our responsibility to find ways for children to have outlets to relieve stress. We can also help raise healthier, happier children by teaching and showing them how to handle stress better.