We're getting down to the wire here, as we've covered 8 of the 10 chapters in "The Hurried Child." Given that we're just a few weeks away from the end of the semester and all of the finals and papers that brings, it is perhaps fitting that we're reading even more about stress! You'll see that Kasey Bigelow, the author of our first chapter 9 entry, could relate to Elkind's ideas about stress on hurried children.
She wrote:
Stress is poison!
Children let their minds bully their bodies into believing it must carry the burden of its worries. The effect of stress on children is the main focus of this chapter. Children’s stress is caused and brought on by many things. Some of the most common causes are divorce, single parents, school, fear, and daily life experience. Children respond to their stress symptoms and stressful situations by learning how to use their coping mechanisms. Children are faced, and often forced, to deal with difficult situations that they are not ready for. This in turn causes them to stress out and often grow up too fast. School puts so much pressure on children that parents often don’t understand. School can be hard if you’re not getting the right attention, or if you fall off track in one subject. This can result in a domino effect in other subjects.
The book talks about the type A and type B behavior in children and explains how the behavior is similar to adults. The type A behavior has more stress symptoms than the type B. Children hurried by parents and schoolteachers have a high level of stress. When I was reading this section, it was vague and confusing, and I am not sure if I agree with what the author had to say about it. I do, however, agree that everyone is different and has different personalities that help in handling stress.
When I read this chapter about children dealing with stress, it took me back to my own childhood memories. My parents did not get divorced, but I did and still do have a problem with school. I have trouble learning and taking tests, and I wanted school to be over as soon as it started. When I started school, the only things I liked about it were making new friends, boys, and sports. If I was to get graded on those things I would have gotten all A’s. You would think that being interested in boys at age 5 would have started a whole stress problem all on its own. Luckily that stress kicked in when it was supposed to a few years ago. I completely related to the example in the book when it said that children pretend to be sick or act out in school. I did not understand the information presented at school and I felt stupid, so I did exactly that: I got mad and pretended to be sick. I hated the way I felt and this all started in the second and third grade. Learning multiplication and spelling were the most difficult for me, and after that everything started tumbling down. Unfortunately no one noticed that I was having trouble until high school, and then I was tested for a learning disability. I had finally got the help that I needed without all the stress.
Reading this chapter it has inspired me to either study deeper in child development, or to find out how the mind of a child reacts during stress, as well as how behavior is impacted. I think I would have to study psychology of the mind and children if I want to know more. Children make interesting subjects to study behavior and stress to figure out how the mind and body works. It also helps towards finding out how the adult mind and body work when faced with stress. This chapter can get you thinking about yourself and how you work now, as opposed to how you worked as a child handling stress. It’s almost like when you say, “I wish I knew then what I know now. It would have made things in my life a whole lot easier.” Children and adults process information differently when under stress. It is just upsetting that children go through so much stress that we, as adults, don’t always know about or understand. Studying children’s stress and situations will hopefully help us better understand their inner workings. Children just need to be children again without all the stress. Children also should not have to be burdened with adult problems, yet unfortunately they are.
Parents and other adults pressure children to be number one in whatever they do. Sports, fear, and anxiety from guilt and disappointment are all things that increase the pressure on children. It can be difficult for children to understand that parents only want the best for them, and a child can interpret that he needs to be the best.
There are changes toward children and their health that need to be made today in society. Stress is hurting children in more ways than one and they need our help. Things that can help are looking for the symptoms, and working with children one on one as much as possible. It is important that a child gets help, rather than suffering through it. So basically I want to make sure to either learn more about child stress or make sure children get the help they need.
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I definitely can relate to having experienced stress as a child. My parents went through a divorce that was both heartbreaking and exhausting. During this time, I felt as though the stress was too much too handle. I wanted to quit school because I couldn't focus on anything other than the divorce. After my parents finally separated and the divorce was final, I definitely felt a sense of relief. Although the situation finally ended, I still wish there had been someone to help me through the stress.
ReplyDelete-Sharon V.
Kasey, I think that it is great that you want to learn about children so you can help them! This world needs more people like you who want to make sure kids are getting the assistance they require. Many times throughout high school, people told me that I "was too young to have stress.” That did not benefit me at all, but only made me think that I was wrong for having my feelings. If someone had just acknowledged my feelings, my worries would have been relieved. In fact, people still tell me that I'm too young to have stress in my life.
ReplyDeleteMany times, people just want their feelings acknowledged by someone else and then are able to deal with them. Children are the same way. Kids need to know that there is nothing wrong with the feelings that they are experiencing. That alone can do wonders! Once kids learn how to handle their problems in a healthy way, their lives will be so much better!