This is our latest author, Brittany Bonilla, and her little sister doing one of the many fun things non-hurried children do -- blowing bubbles! She has some great insight to share in her entry, so enjoy!
Brittany wrote:
To start off, I really enjoyed this chapter. It was a great refresher on Piaget. The way Elkind explained cognitive development in relation to what children should be learning in school was very helpful in understanding why so many young children are struggling academically. I liked that Elkind talked about Piaget and Erikson’s stages, because it is easier to understand the developmental process as a whole when you can think about everything the child is going through at that given age. There is a more clear understanding now of why a child who is “hurried” to grow up would have such a hard time creating a secure attachment and strong trust with their caretaker. This chapter explains that when infants are constantly shuffled around between babysitters and caretakers, they miss out on the experience to create that bond, which in turn affects their opportunity to learn. As we know, in Piaget’s sensorimotor stage, infants need to manipulate objects to gain experience, and if they are not given the right amount of time and care, they will not be able to do this.
In the next stage, it is crucial for children from the ages of roughly two to six or seven to explore things and ask questions in order to learn. So we have to wonder how a child is supposed to be able to do this if she is going to athletic practice or piano lessons, and then has hours of homework when she gets home. Also, if the child has busy parents who are too tired or don’t have the time to explore things with her, she is losing out on some major developmental processes. The next couple of years between this age and adolescence are crucial because it is when children start to learn how to associate with their peers. They learn about friends and making rules, which is all a part of detaching themselves from their parents. If children are too busy, or their parents are, and they are forced to take care of themselves, they do not have time to develop friendships with peers. T They are then unable to differentiate between who is an authority figure in their life and who isn’t. Our book gives a great example of how a kid who may be forced to take care of himself may give more authority to a sport team captain than to his own parent.
The section that covers the formal operational period focuses a lot on Erikson’s crisis of personal identity vs. role confusion. Adolescents are so confused with figuring out who they are and what they want to be that it puts a lot of stress on them. It is even worse when they have been hurried by their parents to take on a certain role since they were very small. For example, if a child has been pushed since a young age to be an amazing tennis player, it will be difficult for him to gain his own identity if he doesn’t even like tennis.
Elkind also talks about the term imaginary audience, which refers to the idea that teenagers think everyone else is as concerned with their looks, feelings, and thoughts as they are. Elkind also talks about the term personal fable, which is the thought that you must be something special if everyone is concerned about what you are doing. This leads to the idea of being invincible and assuming that bad things will never happen to you. I have to agree with the book when it says that the imaginary audience can have a strong impact on an adolescent’s self esteem. Additionally, the personal fable can definitely lead to bad decision making; however, they were some things I view a little differently. Elkind says that a major contributor to developing an imaginary audience could be the exposure to a real audience as a child. I do agree that things like extreme beauty pageants for five year olds, like the ones you see on television, are ridiculous. However, I don’t agree that exposure to a real audience leads to the development of a more powerful imaginary audience or a personal fable. I have been dancing on stage since I was about 3 years old, only because I wanted to; it was never something I was forced to do. Either way, I feel that being on stage helped me gain self esteem and confidence. Going through junior high and high school, I was never freaked out about public speaking or raising my hand in class, and I feel like I owe that to my many years of performing on stage in front of people. Despite that one little issue, I agree with the issues discussed in this chapter, and they make me very sad for children growing up today . I feel that it is so unfortunate that little ones are missing out on so much, simply because they or their parents are just too “busy.”
While I was reading Brittany’s entry, I was reminded so much of my own childhood. My mom’s philosophy of raising children is: If you keep children involved with enough extracurricular activities, the children will never have time to get into trouble. Growing up with that mentality, I never considered it a bad thing; it was just how things were and that’s what I was used to. I am not sure where I stand now when it comes down to it.
ReplyDeleteMy older brother and I both were constantly being driven around to various practices. It was never a dull moment around our household. Though it rarely happened, I remember some Sundays where, after asking my mom what we were going to do for the day, she said, “Relaxing.” I honestly asked her what that meant, and she said that we would just hang around the house, maybe do a little cleaning, and enjoy a day off. I wasn’t really a fan of these relaxing days since I was used to constantly being on the go.
The summers were another story. We had a pool and spent plenty of time creating games and playing outside when we were a little older.
I think that always being on the go as a child and always having a plan for everyday is part of the reason I am so anal now when it comes to having plans and knowing every step of the day, and days to come. I have never made that connection until now. Interesting the things that come out as we grow up and look back at our childhood.
It is so hard for kids today because they are growing up with parents who are overworked. Today it is all about having more, more, more, which means less, less, less when it comes to spending time with family and children. I think the single most important thing that needs to happen is for parents to be educated on the importance of their involvement in healthy development. Parents who over schedule their child may see that as a good thing simply because they don’t understand that children need downtime in order to experience healthy development. A child needs casual conversation and day-to-day interaction with parents to become a well-rounded and flexible person. Parents need to understand how important they are and that they single handedly are the most influential thing in their child’s development.
ReplyDeleteBobie Walker