Our Final Chapter 6 Entry

This is Lal Koeum, the author of our final entry on chapter 6, and this is what she had to say about the picture:
"I’m either 3 or 4 years old in this picture. It was taken at Burger King on Cedar and Shields. It was one of my favorite places to go with my brothers and dad. It was our “outing”. I have many fond memories there as a child because the play place was so much fun! It is no longer there but I sure can remember it like it was just yesterday =)"

Here is her entry for you to enjoy:

While reading this chapter, I realized and felt so many different emotions relating to my childhood. It also reminded me of why I am the person that I am today. I feel as though Elkind’s words help put things into perspective that may have been unclear to me prior to having read the chapter, and I could not agree more with everything he mentioned. He thoroughly illustrated, stage by stage, how children cognitively develop by addressing Piaget’s Cognitive Stage Theory. Elkind then described how each child’s development during such stages will inevitably mold her into the adult she will someday become. He also gave many different examples of how children were hurried, with a full explanation of how harmful it can be for children.

Additionally, he addressed why adults such as parents should not treat children as equals, but rather as the children that they are. In my eyes, children are a blessing. They do amazing things and fill so many of our hearts with joy.
“Growing up slowly” is the title of my chapter, and it saddens me to see how we as a society hurry children today, especially those at such a young age. From the beginning of life, infants begin to form attachments to their caregivers. Some attachments may be secure and others may not be, but this is due to the parental guidance and attentiveness parents give to their infant. If parents respond to their infant by meeting their needs in a timely manner, an infant’s sense of mistrust can be overcome, as trust can now occur because their needs have been met. I believe children are the products of their parents. How each child is raised and their upbringing has a lot to do with the person they grow up to be. I truly feel that infancy is so crucial in the later development of a child. For example, I have been in situations where I have seen parents who are completely attuned to their infant’s needs and it just makes my heart smile. Those parents who understand their infant’s needs show me that someday their children have a chance to grow up to be trustful of their environment where they can feel free to explore. One thing that sticks with me is, “behavior is communication,” from a child’s perspective. I learned this from an instructor and it has stuck with me since. Infants cannot use language to express their feelings and emotions. Their communication is their behavior, whether it is through crying, raising their arms, shifting their heads, etc. Their needs and wants can be distinguished if the parent is responsive at appropriate times.

Another thing that stuck out to me that Elkind said was that during the concrete preoperational stage, reading and arithmetic become a part of children’s schedules. Children go to school and much of what they are learning is almost forced upon them. Some children are also praised for something they themselves may fully not understand, but are capable of doing, such as “reading” a book through memorization because they have been exposed to it many times. For instance, in Kindergarten today, children are doing homework and are taught to read. If they cannot read at the end of Kindergarten, they will be held back at the discretion of the teacher. As a child, I honestly do not remember having to read in order to move forward in grade level. I remember playing, singing, and doing things that were physical and more social rather than feeling burdened with homework on a daily basis at the age of 5!

Furthermore, I shared this sentiment of Elkind’s: “Hurrying children academically, therefore, ignores the enormity of the task that children face in acquiring basic math and reading skills. We need to appreciate how awesome an intellectual task learning the basics really is for children and give them the time they need to accomplish it well” (p. 127). Time is what children need. Why can’t more parents/adults see this? Allow children the chance to get to the basics before rushing them to move forward to that next step that some children just are not prepared for.

Lastly, a quote that really struck a chord is, “Children who are hurried as children may not understand or resent the hurrying until they become adolescent. Then they may begin to be angry and resentful at parents for reasons the parents find hard to fathom” (p. 134). I related to this quote quite a bit. I found myself realizing that I too felt that way many times. I resented my parents for a lot of things they did not expose me to because, in their eyes, the world was a dangerous place. I was extremely sheltered and did not see my first movie in a theater until I was fifteen years old. In addition, initially, they did not want to allow me to date until I graduated college. If they had followed through with that, I would not be in a loving and committed relationship with my boyfriend who I met in high school. My friends were constantly in shock with some of the rules my parents had in place for me. There were many things I was not allowed to do because my parents were strict and authoritative. I never rebelled but chose to date at fifteen years old on my own terms. My parents were then forced to adapt to the American culture I was exposed to and longed to fit into. My parents felt their sheltering ways protected me from the dangerous world but I slowly learned that what they did was somewhat unfair, and because of my “sheltered” childhood, as an adult, I do not trust easily.